quiz406

Quiz 406

Okay so we had five teams last night which I admit is an improvement on the last couple of months but I'm not ready to dance a fandango just yet. It was nice however, tho see The Bookends and welcome back to The Dimwits. Last nights winners were VCJD with 81 points, The Alliance were second on 78 and The aforementioned Bookends made up our top three with 73 points. Okay I'm going to be brief.I've just had a phone call from my brother to tell me my mother was rushed into hospital last night. So very quickly here are the questions and answers and a joke which just need cutting and pasting in.

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. Michael Parkinson 2. Nicole Kidman 3. Corrie actor Jack P Shepherd who plays little git David Platt 4. Bolton Wanderer's Finnish goalkeeper Jussi Jääskeläinen 5. Hercule Poirot actor David Suchet 6. Former Prime Minister Sir Alec Douglas Home 7. Robbie the Robot from the classic sci-fi movie Forbidden Planet 8. Underfire jockey Kieren Fallon 9. Model Nell McAndrew 10. Actress Jennifer Garner

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The US state known as "the Bluegrass state" is Kentucky.

Music for the song Moonlight Serenade was written by Glenn Miller.

The word 'volar' relates to the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Astronomy: The term 'aphelion' in relation to the Earth or any planet in the universe describes what?

2. Which de Havilland aircraft in 1949 was the world's first commercial jet airliner?

3. The Prince of the Pagodas is the only original ballet score by whom?

Joke Of The Day:Old Innocent Lady...

A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:
"I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son."
"Oh, that's ok," he said.
"I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy."
The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.
Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his groceries.
"That'll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.
"How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!"
"Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her..."

As I'm typing I am also compiling Thursday's music tape and I also have two crusts under the grill toasting. Lovely. When the tape is finished the quiz will be two-thirds complete, nice to be ahead of schedule for once. One idea I'm throwing around at the moment, (excuse me, toast and marmalade) is the teams that turn up on a quiz night decide the format for the following week. We'll have have to discuss it more on Thursday night. Any thoughts in the meantime quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk please.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

Juan Carlos II became the king of Spain in November 1975

The Storting is the name of the parliament of Norway

Writing devoted to recording and glorifying the lives of saints and martyrs is known as Hagiography (hagiology)

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Which US state is known as "the Bluegrass state"?

2. Music for the song Moonlight Serenade was written by which famous bandleader?

3. The word 'volar' relates to whch parts of the body?

Joke Of The Day:This is the road to enlightenment, revised...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can' t be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

quiz405

Quiz 405

I don't know where I am at the moment. Somewhere between trying my damnedest to save the quiz and almost at the point where I just don't care anymore. I remember feeling like this almost 5 years ago when a similar thing happened to the quiz I used to do at Bond's. It was only 4 to 6 weeks after that, that I decided to quit that one as the enjoyment I was getting wasn't enough for the effort going in. Of the 4 teams we had last night, VCJD came out on top with 81 points, Wanderers were second with 76 points and The Alliance were third with 73.

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. John Travolta 2. Newsreader and new Crimewatch presenter Kirsty Young 3. Susan Surandon who was 61 years old yesterday 4. Aston Villa's Gareth Barry 5. Lois Maxwell who was Miss Moneypenny in the James Bond films 6. Jodie Foster 7. Weather girl and Rear of the Year Sian Lloyd 8. US long distance runner Kara Goucher 9. Natasha Beddingfield 10. Film director David Lean

Three for Fun (Tuesday's answers)

The first name of the businessman and pioneer of frozen food Mr Birdseye was Clarence.

Fingal's Cave is located on the Scottish island of Staffa.

The cotton gin was invented by Eli Whitney.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Who became the king of Spain in November 1975?

2. The Storting is the name of the parliament of which country?

3. Writing devoted to recording and glorifying the lives of saints and martyrs is known as what?

Joke Of The Day: Fly Swatting...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh!, Killed any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".

Apologies for the post being a day late, but yesterday was rather hectic, I just hope that it wasn't a sign of what to expect for the rest of the month. Fortunately though I have made a good start on Thursday's quiz, I'm hoping to get the Music tape and TV themes tape done today, I just hope there are a lot more people at The Albert than have been in recent weeks. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk If you wish to contact me before Thursday.

Three for Fun (Friday's answers)

'I sing of arms and the man' is a translation of the opening words of The Aeneid.

The name given to the sheet of microfilm on which printed text is photographically reduced for filing is microfiche.

In relation to vision, the term 'accommodation' means the action of focusing the eye.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. What was the first name of the businessman and pioneer of frozen food Mr Birdseye?

2. Fingal's Cave is located on which Scottish island?

3. Who invented the cotton gin?

Joke Of The Day:Sister Logical...

Two nuns went out of their convent to sell cookies. One is known as Sister Mathematical and the other as Sister Logical. It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

Logical: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
Sister Mathematical: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

Sister Logical: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

Sister Mathematical: It's not working.

Sister Logical: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

Sister Mathematical: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

Sister Logical: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go the this way. He cannot follows us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then, Sister Logical arrives.

Sister Mathematical: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!

Tell me what happened!

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

Sister Mathematical: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

Sister Mathematical: And?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, dear! What did you do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! What happened then?

Sister Logical: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Quiz 404

Again only four teams last night albeit more people however I'm far from happy. John of VCJD has had some really good ideas and I thank him for that but I feel we need to get people back first! What I really want to know is why the old regular teams like The Dimwits for example don't come anymore? or any of the regular teams. That's the biggy. It's really not worth trying to implement something radical while the quiz is dying on it's arse.

Last night's winners were VCJD with 91 points just ahead of Second Place The Alliance with 90 and Third were second timers Demry's Gone with an extremely commendable 86 pts.

I've actually started next week's quiz well basically just set it up I am hoping to get the Guest Round (TV theme tunes) all done tomorrow. Suggestions please quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. Boris Johnson 2. Tess Daly 3. Francesc Fabregas Billie Piper 5. Tupele Dorgu 6. Katie Holmes 7. Emily Watson 8. Anne Hathaway 9. Gail Emms 10. Keisha Buchanan

Three For Fun (Monday's answers)

There are ten ways of dismissing a batsman in cricket including bowled out, run out, caught, stumped, LBW. The rarer five are: Hit Wicket, handled ball, hit ball twice, obstructed the field, timed out.

the Flemish artist who was appointed Principal Painter to their majesties in 1632 at the court of Charles I was Anthony Van Dyke.

3. The Threepenny Opera and The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahogonny were musical collaborations between the composer Kurt Weill and the celebrated German playwright Bertolt Brecht.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. 'I sing of arms and the man' is a translation of the opening words of which ancient epic poem?

2. What name is given to the sheet of microfilm on which printed text is photographically reduced for filing?

3. In relation to vision, what does the term 'accommodation' mean?

Joke of the Day

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.Upon getting home he shows his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "They're in three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze.""What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily. "Gold of course", says the man proudly!The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

This will be a briefish post (briefish, I think I just invented a new word!) as I have been ill for most of the weekend and have absolutely done for the quiz on Thursday. In fact I was so ill this morning (headache and nausea) that I couldn't look at my computer screen for too long and after being physically ill I thought thought it prudent to go back to bed for a couple of hours. When I finally got up I had to answer something like 50 emails, not counting the now obligatory message from The Bank of Africa in Burkina Faso offering me a share of several $ dollars if I help them move a sizeable sum. (Stupid w*nkers) reported and marked as spam.. for the 7th time. Anyway, I digress. Yes! Emails! Thanks to John from VCJD, I have received your suggestions but haven't had time to look at them yet, I am hoping to tomorrow but I really need to spend now and midnight on the quiz.

Three for Fun (Friday's answers)

'No man is an island, entire of itself.' lines of the sixteenth-/seventeenth-century poet John Donne.

The term or word that describes the final unwinding of a complex storyline or the unravelling of the plot in drama is Denoument.

'Lilliburlero' is the signature tune of the BBC's World Service.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. There are ten ways of dismissing a batsman in cricketincluding bowled out, run out, caught, stumped, LBW. Name one of the rarer five?

2. What is the name of the Flemish artist who was appointed Principal Painter to their majesties in 1632 at the court of Charles I?

3. The Threepenny Opera and The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahogonny were musical collaborations between the composer Kurt Weill and which celebrated German playwright?

Joke of the Day.

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mum, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says. "I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

quiz403

Quiz 403

Five teams this week. Forgive me if I don't throw my arms in the air and shout "Halleluah!" This time last year we had 10 teams, count em, 10 teams. I am interested to hear John's (VCJD) suggestion's apparently they are quite good I need them emailed to me soon please John. Thanks in advance for the input. What we really need is for people to go to their friends, neighbours, work colleagues or people they just really dislike and say, My quiz team is better than your quiz team, ner, ner, nerner, ner.and get new people to come down. We need more new teams or old ones back. Is it my fault they don't come anymore? I really need to know.I don't wan't the Albert quiz to die, in November I will be doing it for 5 years.

Last night's result, The Props Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah were last night's winners with 87 pts, The Alliance were second on 82 and VCJD were third with 80 pts. Special mention to "he New Team" who were 4th and LAD who won the wooden spoon but wo'nt be back for a while as Leah is going back to University. (Bye sweety comeback soon.)

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. Sir Alan Sugar 2. Chancellor of the Exchequer, The Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP 3. Former boxer and Hell's kitchen winner Barry McGuigan 4. The late former world rally champion Colin McRae 5. Actress Julia Sawalha 6. West Ham's Carlton Cole 7. Keira Knightley 8. Birthday girl Sophia Loren 9. Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) Black-Eyed Peas singer and babe 10. Actress Carrie-Anne Moss

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The British painter and leading exponent of pop art whose most famous works include the cover design for the Beatles LP Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band was Peter Blake.

The rank in the Christian ministry that takes its name from the Greek word meaning 'servant' is Deacon.

In medieval England, murage was a tax levied for the upkeep of Town Walls.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1.'No man is an island, entire of itself.' What is the name of the name of the sixteenth-/seventeenth-century poet who wrote these lines?

2. What term or word describes the final unwinding of a complex storyline or the unravelling of the plot in drama?

3. 'Lilliburlero' is the signature tune of of which branch of the BBC?

Joke of the Day

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"