Quiz 378

We were a little thin on the ground at The Albert last night. The place was quite busy but only six teams took part in the quiz and there was a definitive split between the top three and bottom three teams, the bottom three all in the seventies and the top three all in the nineties. The Alliance ran out the winners with 93pts, The Magic Numbers were second two points back on 91 and CJD were our third place team with 90pts.

Questions and Answers

Dingbats answers: 1. Sleep on it 2. For crying out loud 3. In the doghouse 4. Spots before the eyes 5. Goldilocks and the Three Bears 6. Out on a limb 7. Fingers crossed 8. The United States of America 9. More money than sense 10. Supporter's club

Pictures: 1. Former PM John Major 2. Christopher Lambert 3. Julie Goodyear who played Bet Lynch on Coronation Street for many years 4. TV chef Anthony Worrall Thompson 5. Former Australian cricket legend Allan Border 6. Captain Robert Falcon Scott 7. Omar Shariff 8. Tottenham Hotspur's Bulgarian striker Dimitir Berbatov 9. Sigourney Weaver (that one caught a few people out hehehe.) 10. New Dr Who actress Freema Agyeman

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

Lake Maggiore lies on the border of Switzerland and Italy.

Wade Giles and Pinyin are two systems of a phonetic alphabet for Chinese.

Ankhesenamen was the Queen of Tutankhamen.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Humbley Grove and Stockbridge in Hampshire, Palmer's Wood in Surrey Welton in Lincolnshire. What is the connection?

2. Lindisfarne monestery, on Holy Island off the coast of Northumberland, was founded by which seventh-century Irish monk?

3. In a proportional representation system of voting, what does the abbreviation STV stand for?

Joke Of The Day:

This guy has been a fornicator and a villain all his life, but he decides he has got to mend his ways. So he decides to take up the monastic life. He goes to this monastery and is told the head monk will interview him to make sure his motives are right and that he is sure this is really what he wants to do. So they talk and discuss and the guy nods and seems to be giving all the right answers and he's happy with what it will mean to him. The conversation is just coming to an end and the head monk asks the man has he any questions that he now feels he needs to specifically ask. 'Well', he says, 'There is one thing bothering me father' 'Yes my son' says the father 'Well as i told you I am a fornicator and well I know I'd miss that relief of sexual tension and I just wonder how you lot manage' 'Ah yes, I was wondering when we'd get around to that', said the father. 'Well my son, we have this room, and in this room we have this barrel, and in this barrel there are a number of holes, and my son, on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, you would be allowed to relief your tension by making use of the facilities of the holes in this barrel' 'Ah', said the guy, thinking. 'But father, you said Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, um, what happens on Wednesday father?' 'Well my son, on Wednesday it would be your turn in the barrel.'

It is with great sadness that I have to report the death of... My favourite mug. It was a present from an ex girlfriend 18 years ago and, after an incalculable amount of tea, it finally met its end when I knocked it of my desk yesterday afternoon.

On a brighter note, this weekend has been extremely productive. I only require five questions to to complete this Thurday's quiz. Okay, so it will probably require the obligatory tweeking between now and then but in the main I'm quite pleased with it. On Saturday, I managed to get the printer working (it was just a problem with the cartridge) so managed to compile a picture round and print out 24 copies which should be enough. Yesterday, I went mad. Not literally. I did, however, compile the music tape and also tapes for the next two weeks, put together this week's guest round (Dingbats) and print those out and also print out 240 pages of answer sheets. With 6 sheets to a page they have a date with Mr Trimmer later on.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

'Beauty is potent but money is Omnipotent.

St Paul addressed his first Epistle in the New Testament to the Romans.

Cars are sold at Manheim auctions in the United States.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Lake Maggiore lies on the border of which two countries?

2. Wade Giles and Pinyin are two systems of a phonetic alphabet for which language?

3. Ankhesenamen was the Queen of which Egyptian pharaoh?

Joke Of The Day:

Yesterday, scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

Quiz 377

Right, let's try again. I was just about to publish this post when those wonderful people at Microsoft (gobshites) decided to update my computer and it froze on me, so I'm going to have to type the whole thing out again.

The Alliance and Order it from Zanzibar (where the f**k do they get these names from?) were our joint winners at the Albert last night with 96 pts. CJD were third just one poit behind with 95.

Questions and Answers

Last nights pictures were: 1. Lisa Kudrow 2. Chancellor Gordon Brown 3. Sergeant Bilko creator Phil Silvers 4. Tottenham Hotspurs Jermaine Defoe 5. Little Britain's Matt Lucas 6. Britain's most prolific serial killer Dr Harold Shipman 7. Henry Fonda 8. Actor Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile, Armageddon) 9. Demi Moore 10. Former showjumper Harvey Smith

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

Six Nobel prizes are awarded each year.

The LCE in London is the London Commodity Exchange

Earl Shilton, Nottingham Imperial and Kent Reliance are all building societies

Today's Three for Fun (Answers on Monday)

1. Proverbs: 'Beauty is potent but money is ...' what?

2. To whom did St Paul address his first Epistle in the New Testament?

3. Manheim auctions in the United States is the biggest of its kind in the world. What are sold there?

Joke Of The Day:

This guy walks into a bar and sees a lady sitting by herself. He goes over and buys her and drink and they chat a while and he leaves with her to go to her place. They are in the middle of having a good time when he hears a noise at the door and she says "It's my husband home for lunch... quick, hide in the closet!" So he does.
He's standing in the closet when he hears this small voice... "Gee, it's dark in here". He looks around trying to find out where it came from when he hears it again... "Gee, it's dark in here..."
He quickly whispers "Shhhh, who are you?"
The little voice says "That's my mommy and daddy out there, gee, it's dark in here, I'm scared, I'm gonna scream."
The man whispers back "No, PLEASE don't scream. I'll give you five pounds if you don't scream."
The little boy answers "Gee, it's dark in here, I'm pretty scared, I'm gonna scream..."
"I'll give you ten pounds if you don't scream."
"Gee, it's dark in here, I'm REALLY scared, I'm gonna scream..."
The guy says "Look kid, here's FIFTY pounds , it's all I have, don't scream."
"Ok." the kid whispers quietly.
So the guy waits in the closet till he hears the husband finish lunch and as soon as he hears the door close he runs out of the closet and jumps out the window and runs down the street. Later that afternoon, the lady is out shopping with her son at the mall when he sees a bike in the toy store window and says to his mom "Gee, I'd REALLY like that bike."
"Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a bike."
The kid says, "That's ok, I can buy it myself, I have fifty pounds."
She pulls him aside and asks him "WHERE did you get fifty pounds?"
"I'll never tell."
"You BETTER tell me where you got that money."
"I'll never tell."
"You must have done something bad to get that money. I'm taking you to church and you can tell the priest how you got that money in confession." So she does.
The little boy is in the confessional and the door closes and he says "Gee, it's dark in here..."
And the priest answers "Now let's not start THAT shit again..."

Remember my last post? When I was saying about the boiler, modem and printer having gremlins? Well, guess what? I woke up on Saturday morning to the following message on my PC screen:

STOP: c000021a {Fatal System Error} The Windows Log on process system process terminated unexpextedly with a status of 0x000022 (0x00000000 0x00000000). The system has been shut down.

F**king beautiful. I have spent the day reinstalling windows but haven't been able to install microsoft office as of yet. So, I haven't any work on this Thursday's quiz since Friday night. Fortunately, I did get a hell of a lot done on Friday so tomorrow when hopefully I can get Office up and running I can get most of the rest of it done.

Three for Fun

Answers to Fridays questions

In 1532, Sir Thomas More resigned as Lord Chancellor, in 1534, refused to assent under oath to the Act of Succession and in 1535, was executed. The pigment xanthophyll is Yellow. In computer terminology, the abbreviation DMA stands for Direct Memory Access.

Today's Questions

1. How many Nobel prizes are awarded every year? 2. Futures in coffee, cocoa, wheat, barley and potatoes are traded at the LCE in London. What is the LCE? 3. What sort of companies are Earl Shilton, Nottingham Imperial and Kent Reliance? Answers on Friday.

Quiz 376

Of nine runners and riders (well it is Gold Cup day) in last nights quiz The Alliance were first past the post with an impressive 96 pts, second place were The Magic Numbers a couple of lengths behind on 91 pts, Day Release were pipped at the post coming in third with a very credible 90 pts. Unfortunately, CJD fell at the last and had to be put down.

Questions and Answers

Once again I apologise for the quality of the pictures last night but I'm having problems with my printer. First it was my boiler, then my modem now the printer grrrrrr. Anway, here are the answers to last night's pictures.

1. Lenny Henry 2. Tommy Cooper 3. Everton striker Andy Johnson 4. Gaius Julius Caesar 5. Richard Burton 6. Australia's cricket captain Ricky Ponting 7. Amanda Holden 8. Actress Anne Hathaway 9. Director David Cronenberg 10. Babelicious Sugababe Keisha Buchanan

Three for Fun

Fridays answers

The London prison, which closed in 1842 and is featured in Charles Dickens' novel Little Dorrit was Marshalsea.

The modern-day country in which the ancient people the Etruscans lived is Italy.

Adrian Noble, Terry Hands and Deborah Warner well-known Theatre directors.

Today's Questions

1. In 1532, he resigned as Lord Chancellor, in 1534, he refused to assent under oath to the Act of Succession and in 1535, he was executed. Who was he?

2. Chlorophyll is the green pigment found in plants. what colour is the pigment xanthophyll?

3. In computer terminology, for what does the abbreviation DMA stand?

Answers in Monday's post.

Joke Of The Day:

A constable is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, 'How is this possible?' The guy says, ‘Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'

I had a productive day yesterday. I got most of the questions done and managed to put together an interesting music tape for this Thursday. This weeks guest round is Who am I? 5 clues to a famous person. Get the answer on the first clue 10 points are your reward, second clue 9 points and so on down to the fifth and last clue where 6 points are available. get the answer wrong and you get 5 points and you only get 1 chance. I did have a bit of a mental block when it came to picking a celebrity to research but I got there in the end and once I picked someone the questions were fairly easy. The picture round is also ready to be printed (IN COLOUR) however, there seems to be a problem with the ink cartridge I bought last Thursday, I shall be going into town in about half an hour to try and resolve the problem. Either way it will be ready by Thursday. Just a final note: The Picture Clues that we did last year. I am currently preparing another set of approximately 70 pictures and given that that we only use 2 clues per quiz they should last for about 8 months. They should be ready by the beginning of next month.

Three For Fun

Friday's Answers

Travel in the UK. Apex, SuperApex, SuperSaver and Network AwayBreak are all types of Train ticket.

Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan Bridge, Williamsburg Bridge and Queensboro Bridge all stand on the East river.

Mahler's Eighth Symphony is known as the 'Symphony of a Thousand' owing to the large number of peformers it requires.

Today's Questions

1. Which London prison, which closed in 1842, is featured in Charles Dickens' novel Little Dorrit?

2. In which modern-day country did the ancient people the Etruscans live?

3. In which field of the arts are Adrian Noble, Terry Hands and Deborah Warner well-known names? Answers on Friday.

Joke Of The Day:

Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first guy says his favorite position is the "rodeo." The other guy asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first guy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position, too...' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."

Quiz 375

I,m back!!!!!!!!!!!!! After ten weeks without an internet connection grrrr. Yesterday was what I term 'A salmon day', basically its a day spent swimming against the current only to get screwed and die. It started in the early afternoon when it came time to print out last night's quiz,a score sheet and some answer sheets only to find that my printer was out of ink. I had to go cap in hand to see a friend to borrow some money so that I could get my cartridge refilled by those good people at Cartridge World in Bolebridge Street.

On the night, six teams signed up to play (slightly disappointing ). One team pulled out before we even started and another left just after the guest round because of an a dispute with another team. I am not prepared to comment any further on the incident, I think I made my feelings pretty clear last night, all I will say is that I wish people wouldn't take the quiz so seriously, its supposed to be a bit of fun.

CJD were last night's winners coming top with 96 pts, The Alliance were second on 93 pts and last weeks newcomers, The Not So Newcomers made up the top three with a very credible 77. Just a quick mention to the only other team to finish the course, The two ladies that make up the Dimwits were just a point back with 76 pts.

Three for fun

1. Travel in the UK. Apex, SuperApex, SuperSaver and Network AwayBreak are all types of what?

2. The USA. Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan Bridge, Williamsburg Bridge and Queensboro Bridge: over which river do they all stand?

3. Classical Music. Whose Eighth Symphony is known as the 'Symphony of a Thousand' owing to the large number of peformers it requires?

Answers on Monday.

Joke Of The Day:

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has had getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client placed the ball in his mouth, and the barber proceeded with the closest shave the man had ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asked in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," said the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!"