As I'm typing I am also compiling Thursday's music tape and I also have two crusts under the grill toasting. Lovely. When the tape is finished the quiz will be two-thirds complete, nice to be ahead of schedule for once. One idea I'm throwing around at the moment, (excuse me, toast and marmalade) is the teams that turn up on a quiz night decide the format for the following week. We'll have have to discuss it more on Thursday night. Any thoughts in the meantime quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk please.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

Juan Carlos II became the king of Spain in November 1975

The Storting is the name of the parliament of Norway

Writing devoted to recording and glorifying the lives of saints and martyrs is known as Hagiography (hagiology)

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Which US state is known as "the Bluegrass state"?

2. Music for the song Moonlight Serenade was written by which famous bandleader?

3. The word 'volar' relates to whch parts of the body?

Joke Of The Day:This is the road to enlightenment, revised...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can' t be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.