I seem to have run into a mental block. I started this week's quiz with such gusto, But I have come to a grinding halt. I still need 22 questions for the birthday quiz on Thursday including the Picture Round and the Guest Round which this week is Who Am I? five clues to a famous person. And therein lies the problem, I can't think which celebrity to pick. I want to get as much done today and tomorrow because I've got a busy day Wednesday. I've a job on in the morning, shopping with mother in the afternoon (always an interesting experience) and I've got an appointment at the doctor's later to get my cholesterol results. Ergo, I don't want to wake up Thursday morning with too much to do. Hope to see you all on Thursday possibly with some questions you would like to see in the Birthday blog on Friday. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk between now and then if you have any questions or comments.

Three For Fun (Friday's answers)

the Academy of St Martin's in the Fields is a chamber orchestra

The letter "F" in the name of the American writer F Scott Fitzgerald stood for Francis.

The French dish "clafoutis" is type of dessert. (clafoutis, is a custard-like baked French dessert that is typically made by baking fresh fruit (traditionally cherries) and a batter, somewhat similar to pancakebatter, in a baking dish.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clafoutis

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Who created the uncompromising private eye Mike Hammer?

2. In France, a "gigot" is a joint of which meat?

3. The Walker Art Gallery is situated in which British city?

Joke of the Day

Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the USA, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside Magazine)

Grand Canyon National Park...

Was this man-made?

Do you light it up at night?

I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?

So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park...

Are the alligators real?

Are the baby alligators for sale?

Where are all the rides?

What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)...

What time do you feed the bears?

Can you show me where the yeti lives?

How often do you mow the tundra?

How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park... (cliff dwelling of the ancestral Pueblo people who made it their home for over 700 years, from A.D. 600 to A.D. 1300.)

Did people build this, or did Indians?

Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?

What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?

Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park... (More than 85 caves underlie the park)

How much of the cave is underground?

So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?

Does it ever rain in here?

How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?

So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park...

Where are the cages for the animals?

What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?

Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park...

Does Old Faithful erupt at night?

How do you turn it on?

When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?

We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?

quiz395

Quiz 395

We had seven teams at The Albert last night and although one team dropped out fairly early on it was still an enjoyable evening. Maybe the quiz was a little tricky last night, I'm not sure. VCJD were our winners with 90pts, The Alliance (minus slowhand Gareth) were second with 82 and Die Luftwaffe were third a way back on 70pts.

As I said last night next week will be the tenth anniversary of the very first quiz I did (well actually it was August 4th but hey) at the now defunct Dunkey's in Bolebridge Street in Tamworth (it's now the Greek restaurant opposite Weatherpersons and below cloud nine , the lap dancing club whatever one of those is ) Anyway, what I,m attempting to do is get a list of FAQ's from the last ten years together with some funny and bizarre moments and put them in the profile for this time next week. So anything you would like to see in there let before the end of next Thursday's quiz either on the night, a comment on this site an email quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk as always.

I've got a bit of a head start on next week's quiz so I think I shall get a few more picture clues ready for the next sheet which will be in November I think. I usually have around 60 and I have... just checking hang on... 6 ready so a way to go on that one yet. Also, if I get chance, I'll set up the templates for a few quizzes in the future. Oh yes, thanks to all the people who enquired about me stopping smoking and for those who I didn't tell it will be six weeks to the day this Sunday since I had my last cigarette. :D

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. William Roache who plays Ken Barlow in Coronation Street 2. Nicole Kidman 3. Oprah Winrey 4. Cuba's Fidel Castro 5. TV presenter Claudia Winkleman 6. Environment minister Hilary Benn 7. New Open Golf champion Padraig Harrington (grrrr can't put the accent over the first "a") 8. Film director Stanley Kubrick 9. India's cricket captain Rahul Dravid 10. Queen Latifah

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The period in history meaning 'New Stone Age' that followed the Mesolithic Period, or Middle Stone Age was the Neolithic period.

Beginner's All-Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code is a high-level computer programming language better known by the acronym BASIC

The Jewish festival, celebrated in the month of Nisan, in which unleavened bread traditionally eaten is Passover (Pesach)

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. What is the Academy of St Martin's in the Fields?

2. For what does the letter "F" stand in the name of the American writer F Scott Fitzgerald?

3. What type of food is the French dish "clafoutis"?

Joke of the Day

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender.He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times.By the way, where is your restroom?"The bartender quickly replies -,"The closest one is in the petrol station down the street."

Quick update today as I am behind schedule. I still have quite a lot to do to get this Thursday's quiz finished so I'm going to spend the next three hours on research and finding some good questions. I am also going to at least start a music tape and the guest round which this week is Initial Success. Oh a special message for Mary Ann: mwaaah xxxx.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

In the Bible, Uriah the Hittite was her first husband, King David her second. She was Bathsheba.

The Temple of Artemis was built at Ephesus in 356BC

A church minister would live in a residence called a 'manse'?

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Which period in history meaning 'New Stone Age' followed the Mesolithic Period, or Middle Stone Age?

2. Beginner's All-Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code is a high-level computer programming language. By what acronym is it better known?

3. At which Jewish festival, celebrated in the month of Nisan, is unleavened bread traditionally eaten?

Joke of the Day: Catching The Bear

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat on his face.

Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

quiz394

Quiz 394

Firstly, let me say I have no idea what the comment is just below this post so click on it it looks dodgy to me. On Thursday we had nine teams which ended a bit of a lean period in the quiz and we had a three-way tie. VCJD, The Wedding Party and the Alliance (minus Margaret, so the lads were on there worst behaviour) all came top with 89pts each and I believe most or all of the winnings went to charity. Oh and i'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Quizards of Odds for the lovely gift of a beer mat and empty crisp packet that they left for me in their folder. (tossers).The Book Ends also turned up but didn't have my email address and couldn't let me know in advance so the Books and Authors guest round will have to be but on ice until they come again. Anyone wishing to contact me can do at quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk I've got absolutely bugger all done for this week's quiz so I'll have to have a good crack at it later today when I get back from doing the crossword with my friends (well my mate Steve and a obnoxious little troll called Jeff.) at Bonds. Okay, I need your help. At the beginning of next month Quizard will be 10 years old. 10 years since I did my very first quiz at the now defunct Dunky's in Bolebridge Street, Tamworth. So I would like some inexpensive ideas on how to celebrate this historic landmark.

Questions and Answers

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Bart Simpson 2. Ab Fab's Joanna Lumley 3. David Beckham 4. Mary Jo Kopechne (Teddy Kennedy's driving buddy) 5. US chat show host Jay Leno 6. Jessica Rabbit who was voiced by Kathleen Turner who was 53 year's old on Thursday. 7. Ilie Nastase The Clown Prince of Tennis 8. Lizzy Borden who didn't give her mother 40 whacks (she was acquitted of the murder of the murders of her father and stepmother) 9. Nicole Kidman from the movie The Hours 10. Bride of Frankenstein actress Elsa Lanchester.

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

In science, an ERG is a unit of Work or Energy.

Virgil wrote the epic The Aeneid.

The M56, the M63, the M66, the M67 and theM602 all serve Manchester.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. In the Bible, Uriah the Hittite was her first husband, King David her second. Who was she?

2. Which of the Seven Wonders of the World was built at Ephesus in 356BC?

3. Who would live in a residence called a 'manse'?

Joke of the Day

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.

The farmer said, "That's once."

A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.

His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."

The farmer said, "That's once."

quiz393

Quiz 393

Sorry, but there is only one post this week. What with blood tests and being called away I've been very busy this weekend. Anyway, casting my mind back to last Thursday: The Alliance were our winners with 91pts on a night when only four teams showed up. CJD were second with 88pts and Last again weren't as they came third with 79pts. I have actually managed somehow to get the majority of this week's quiz done. Later on this afternoon I will carry on with the picture round that I started last night and see if I can get the guest round completed. It's TV theme tunes which is sometimes a chore but a lot of teams enjoy it so it's well worth the effort. After that I only need eight general knowledge questions to finish it off, minus of course the obligatory last minute tweaking.

Questions and Answers

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Matt Damon 2. Mother Theresa 3. Miss Marple actress Joan Hickson 4. Donkey from the Shrek movies 5. George Best 6. TV chef Phil Vickery 7. Robbie Coltrane 8. Pink 9. Harry Potter star Emma Watson 10. Serbian tennis player Jelena Jankovic

Three for Fun (Last Monday's answers)

Life is Sweet, Naked and Secrets and Lies are films made in the 1990s by award-winning director Mike Leigh.

The two-word French term, meaning coercion or irresistible compulsion, that is used in commercial contracts to describe events that are outside the control of the parties involved is Force Majeure.

Robert Catesby and Guy Fawkes intended to kill James I by placing barrels of gunpowder below the Houses of Parliament?

Today's questions (answers on Friday... hopefully)

1. In science, an ERG is a unit of what?

2. Classic literature: Who wrote the epic The Aeneid?

3. The M56, the M63, the M66, the M67 and theM602 all serve which northern city?

Joke of the Day

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.

One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four."

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.

Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my manhood touch the floor!"

Again, there's a bright flash and both his legs fall off.

Well I have managed to get all my databases fully up to date. Unfortunately, this week's quiz is a little behind schedule as I have still 59 questions to find. I shall have a good stab at it tonight while I'm laid up, (I've got a touch of gout on my big toe, it's blown up like a balloon). Nevermind I'll get that sorted when I go to the stop smoking clinic on Thursday.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

The courage of a faithful wife saves her husband from execution at the hands of a Spanish oppressor: this is Fidelio, Beethoven's only opera?

Victorian soap-maker, William Hesketh Lever, founded his factory and garden village beside it to house the workers in Port Sunlight.

The name of the series of defensive fortifications built between 1929 and 1932 along France's eastern border with Germany was known as The Maginot Line.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Life is Sweet, Naked and Secrets and Lies are films made in the 1990s by which award-winning British director?

2. Which two-word French term, meaning coercion or irresistible compulsion, is used in commercial contracts to describe events that are outside the control of the parties involved?

3. Which king did Robert Catesby and Guy Fawkes intend to kill by placing barrels of gunpowder below the Houses of Parliament?

Joke of the Day

George and Harriet decide to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Lets go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come up to 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened the door and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Bambi laughed derisively. "You really must be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."

After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!"

George said "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

Quiz 392

I was extremely busy yesterday for reasons too long-winded to go into so that is why the blog is a day late. Firstly, thanks Viv for the email. Penblwydd Hapus i Chi! Sorry you won't be here next Thursday but enjoy your break. Anyone wishing to contact me can do so can post a comment on this site or email me at quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk Thursday's quiz was a quiet affair and the first one to fall after the recent smoking ban became law. (Didn't affect me as I quit exactly 3 weeks tomorrow... ah smug mode.) Our winners were The Magic Numbers with 94pts, VCJD were second on 92pts and The Alliance minus Bob the gob (hehehehe) made up the top 3 with 85pts. Oh sorry I was just watching a bit of Wimbledon, Maggie Thatcher has just sat down and Roger Federer has just ballooned a ball into the crowd, the old witch is still hexing people even now. Anyway, this weekend I want to get every single database bang up to date and I'm going to start as soon as I publish this post.

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Antonio Banderas 2. New Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman 3. Bruce Willis 4. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 5. Tellytubby Tinky Winky 6. TV presenter Tess Daly 7. Roger Federer 8. Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross 9. Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar 10. Brigit Bardot

Three for fun (answers on Monday)

1. The courage of a faithful wife saves her husband from execution at the hands of a Spanish oppressor: this is the theme of whose only opera?

2. Where in the Wirral did the Victorian soap-maker, William Hesketh Lever, found his factory in 1888, building a garden village beside it to house the workers?

3. What is the name of the series of defensive fortifications built between 1929 and 1932 along France's eastern border with Germany?

Joke of the Day Kiss the Cabbie...

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the taxi driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure there is nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you have to be Catholic!"

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"Okay" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley, maybe we can see what we can do."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a prostitute blush. But when they get back on the road, the taxi driver starts to sob.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you sobbing?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Anglican."

The nun says' "That's Okay, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party."

Sorry today's update is late but I've been a wee bit busy. I'm suppossed to fill in these stupid forms from the council regarding the discount I get from Council Tax because I live alone (Wankers. I'll set Bill on them) and I am currently cooking a lovely omelette for supper the ingredients of which are: 3 Fresh Duck eggs, 3 rashers of back bacon, some sliced up mushrooms and some cheese to put on top for grilling later. Yummy. Thursday's quiz is about half done. I have started updated the various databases, so that has taken a while. I have, however, got this week's guest round completed, which is a Celebrity matchword. I'm hungry now so I'll see you on Thursday.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

Somerset Maugham qualified in Medicine the same year in which his first novel, Liza of Lambeth, was published.

The three-volume work by Karl Marx which appeals for a classless society where rewards are shared equally was entitled Das Kapital.

The act of parliament of 1707 in which England and Scotland were united under the name Great Britain was The Act of Union.

More questions on Friday.