quiz397

Quiz 397

I don't know how long it will take to type out and publish this post as my PC is running a little slow at the moment (I'm downloading porn shhhhh!) Firstly, a message for Pete of The Alliance. If you made it this far you're doing really well. You need the Golden Key from the Leprechaun King to get to the next level through the Emerald Door. We only had 5 teams at The Albert last night which was a little disapointing. However, It wasn't a bad night. First place went to The Alliance with 93pts, VCJD came second a point back on 92 and in third place were Velcro Advocados (Who've been away far too long. Welcome back.) with 75pts. Just before Questions and Answers, (must remember to put the Caricature answers in for Bill and his smartarse mate his words not mine.) Anyone wishing to contact me for any reason between now and next Thursday my email as always is quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk

Finally, A cautionary word about the joke of the day at the end of this post. It is photograph taken by a friend of mine that graphically shows a road traffic accident. Anyone who is easily upset should not look at it. Many of the victims can be seen in various states of distress. My friend assures me that after taking this picture he stayed at the scene for several hours giving mouth-to-mouth to several of the survivors.

Questions and Answers

Last night's caricatures were: 1. Ken Stott 2. Al Murray 3. Zach Braff (from Scrubs)4. Kevin Whately (Inspector Lewis) 5. Dermot Morgan (Father Ted) 6. Ray Mears 7. Dennis Waterman 8. Jeremy Brett (TV Sherlock Holmes) 9. John McEnroe 10. John Barryman (Capt Jack Harkness, Dr Who and Torchwood)

Last night's pictures were: 1. Liz Dawn who plays Vera Duckworth on Coronation Street 2. Wild West outlaw Butch Cassidy 3. Rt Hon David Miliband, MP for South Shields & Minister of Communities & Local Government 4. Betty Boop 5. Roger Lloyd Pack best known for playing Trigger in Only Fools and Horses 6. Former tennis player Rod Laver 7. Melanie Griffith 8. Robert Shaw who was Quint in Jaws ("Here's to swimmin with bow-legged women) 9. Liverpool's Spanish striker Fernando Torres 10 ITV newsreader and Royal Correspondent Romilly Weeks

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

Praline is another name for Sugared Almonds

Mick Jagger played the title role in the 1970 film Ned Kelly

The ancient Egyptians wrote on papyrus, made from stems of the papyrus plant. This was replaced gradually by parchment. parchment was made from treated animal skins.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Whose method of treating surgical wounds using carbolic acid to prevent septic infection revolutionized modern surgery?

2. What does the musical term 'diminuendo' mean?

3. In which country does the Court of Justice of the European Communities sit?

Joke of the Day

I've been a busy bee today hence, the late post. I wanted to get a lot done this weekend but got caught up with other things so this week's quiz is only half finished. I did manage to choose a subject for the Tempus Fugit (time flies) round and got the Guest Round done which this week is Caracatures. for anyone having trouble getting hold of the Premiership football joke that I mentioned on Friday, type this address into your address bar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg5HsG7AN1Y Enjoy. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk is my email as always hope to see you all on Thursday I'll leave you with Three For Fun and the Joke of the Day then I'm going to earn loads of points on Yahoo Answers http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/ Try it it's fun.

Three For Fun (Friday's answers)

John Bunyan wrote The Pilgrim's Progress in the 17th century.

The northernmost of the four main islands of Japan is Hokkaido.

In Indian Cuisine, roti is Bread.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Praline is another name for which sweet delicacy?

2.Which Rock star played the title role in the 1970 film Ned Kelly?

3. The ancient Egyptians wrote on papyrus, made from stems of the papyrus plant. This was replaced gradually by parchment. What was parchment made from?

Joke of the Day: The Secret Diary of a Cat

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding on the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, inattempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....

quiz396

Quiz 396

10 years on Saturday, what the hell was I thinking whe n I did that first quiz? Anyway, I'm update the "My Profile" over the weekend to share a few memories with you all. Last night was very quiet, only five teams. I'm guessing that everyone else was basking in the rare appearance of the sun. The Alliance were last night's winners with 91 points, VCJD were second with 89 and The Magic Numbers made up the three coming third with 83. All-in-all I was quite pleased with the way the quiz went. all five teams scored 70pts or higher which is what I tend to aim for. my email as always is quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk for anyone wishing to contact me between now and next Thursday with questions, comments credit card details etc. Okay before questions and answers, the link I emailed to Bill yesterday. Cast your minds back to the the last day of the Premiership season when Sheffield United were relegated. www.tinyurl.com/2ea4p3 Not suitable for children or Sheffield United fans.

Yesterday's pictures were: 1. Former Eastender and comic the late Mike Reid 2. Bruce Jones who plays Les Battersby in Coronation Street 3. Former England football captain Bobby Moore 4. X-Files actress Gillian Anderson 5. Actor Peter O'Toole who was 75 years old yesterday 6. Film producer Samuel Goldwyn 7. Indian cricketer Sourav Ganguly 8. Karen Carpenter 9. John. F. Kennedy 10. Elisha Cuthbert.

Three For Fun (Monday's answers)

Mickey Spillane created the uncompromising private eye Mike Hammer

In France, a "gigot" is a joint of Lamb.

The Walker Art Gallery is situated in Liverpool.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. In which century did John Bunyan write The Pilgrim's Progress?

2. Which is the northernmost of the four main islands of Japan?

3. In Indian Cuisine, what is roti?

Joke of the Day

duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender. The bartender walks up, hands the duck a menu, waits a while, and comes back to take his order. "What'll it be?" the bartender says.The duck says, "I think I'll have the grapes." "Well, I'm sorry sir, but this is a bar, we don't serve grapes here. Now, I'll let you look a bit longer and wave when you know what you want." The duck looks at the menu, then waves the bartender down. "Ok, you got your order?" The duck nods, saying, "I'll think I'll have the grapes." The bartender, kind of peeved from the duck, says, "Look Mac, we don't have any grapes here. This is a bar. We don't serve grapes, so what will you have?!" The duck looks at him in the eyes and says, "I'll have the grapes."The bartender, enraged, shouts, "If you ask for the grapes one more time I'm going to nail your feathered a** to the barstool!!"The bartender cools off a bit. "Now what will you have?!" "Got any nails?" "OF COURSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? A HARDWARE STORE?" "Good, got any grapes?"

I seem to have run into a mental block. I started this week's quiz with such gusto, But I have come to a grinding halt. I still need 22 questions for the birthday quiz on Thursday including the Picture Round and the Guest Round which this week is Who Am I? five clues to a famous person. And therein lies the problem, I can't think which celebrity to pick. I want to get as much done today and tomorrow because I've got a busy day Wednesday. I've a job on in the morning, shopping with mother in the afternoon (always an interesting experience) and I've got an appointment at the doctor's later to get my cholesterol results. Ergo, I don't want to wake up Thursday morning with too much to do. Hope to see you all on Thursday possibly with some questions you would like to see in the Birthday blog on Friday. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk between now and then if you have any questions or comments.

Three For Fun (Friday's answers)

the Academy of St Martin's in the Fields is a chamber orchestra

The letter "F" in the name of the American writer F Scott Fitzgerald stood for Francis.

The French dish "clafoutis" is type of dessert. (clafoutis, is a custard-like baked French dessert that is typically made by baking fresh fruit (traditionally cherries) and a batter, somewhat similar to pancakebatter, in a baking dish.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clafoutis

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Who created the uncompromising private eye Mike Hammer?

2. In France, a "gigot" is a joint of which meat?

3. The Walker Art Gallery is situated in which British city?

Joke of the Day

Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the USA, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside Magazine)

Grand Canyon National Park...

Was this man-made?

Do you light it up at night?

I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?

So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park...

Are the alligators real?

Are the baby alligators for sale?

Where are all the rides?

What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)...

What time do you feed the bears?

Can you show me where the yeti lives?

How often do you mow the tundra?

How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park... (cliff dwelling of the ancestral Pueblo people who made it their home for over 700 years, from A.D. 600 to A.D. 1300.)

Did people build this, or did Indians?

Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?

What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?

Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park... (More than 85 caves underlie the park)

How much of the cave is underground?

So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?

Does it ever rain in here?

How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?

So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park...

Where are the cages for the animals?

What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?

Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park...

Does Old Faithful erupt at night?

How do you turn it on?

When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?

We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?

quiz395

Quiz 395

We had seven teams at The Albert last night and although one team dropped out fairly early on it was still an enjoyable evening. Maybe the quiz was a little tricky last night, I'm not sure. VCJD were our winners with 90pts, The Alliance (minus slowhand Gareth) were second with 82 and Die Luftwaffe were third a way back on 70pts.

As I said last night next week will be the tenth anniversary of the very first quiz I did (well actually it was August 4th but hey) at the now defunct Dunkey's in Bolebridge Street in Tamworth (it's now the Greek restaurant opposite Weatherpersons and below cloud nine , the lap dancing club whatever one of those is ) Anyway, what I,m attempting to do is get a list of FAQ's from the last ten years together with some funny and bizarre moments and put them in the profile for this time next week. So anything you would like to see in there let before the end of next Thursday's quiz either on the night, a comment on this site an email quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk as always.

I've got a bit of a head start on next week's quiz so I think I shall get a few more picture clues ready for the next sheet which will be in November I think. I usually have around 60 and I have... just checking hang on... 6 ready so a way to go on that one yet. Also, if I get chance, I'll set up the templates for a few quizzes in the future. Oh yes, thanks to all the people who enquired about me stopping smoking and for those who I didn't tell it will be six weeks to the day this Sunday since I had my last cigarette. :D

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. William Roache who plays Ken Barlow in Coronation Street 2. Nicole Kidman 3. Oprah Winrey 4. Cuba's Fidel Castro 5. TV presenter Claudia Winkleman 6. Environment minister Hilary Benn 7. New Open Golf champion Padraig Harrington (grrrr can't put the accent over the first "a") 8. Film director Stanley Kubrick 9. India's cricket captain Rahul Dravid 10. Queen Latifah

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The period in history meaning 'New Stone Age' that followed the Mesolithic Period, or Middle Stone Age was the Neolithic period.

Beginner's All-Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code is a high-level computer programming language better known by the acronym BASIC

The Jewish festival, celebrated in the month of Nisan, in which unleavened bread traditionally eaten is Passover (Pesach)

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. What is the Academy of St Martin's in the Fields?

2. For what does the letter "F" stand in the name of the American writer F Scott Fitzgerald?

3. What type of food is the French dish "clafoutis"?

Joke of the Day

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender.He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times.By the way, where is your restroom?"The bartender quickly replies -,"The closest one is in the petrol station down the street."

Quick update today as I am behind schedule. I still have quite a lot to do to get this Thursday's quiz finished so I'm going to spend the next three hours on research and finding some good questions. I am also going to at least start a music tape and the guest round which this week is Initial Success. Oh a special message for Mary Ann: mwaaah xxxx.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

In the Bible, Uriah the Hittite was her first husband, King David her second. She was Bathsheba.

The Temple of Artemis was built at Ephesus in 356BC

A church minister would live in a residence called a 'manse'?

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Which period in history meaning 'New Stone Age' followed the Mesolithic Period, or Middle Stone Age?

2. Beginner's All-Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code is a high-level computer programming language. By what acronym is it better known?

3. At which Jewish festival, celebrated in the month of Nisan, is unleavened bread traditionally eaten?

Joke of the Day: Catching The Bear

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat on his face.

Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

quiz394

Quiz 394

Firstly, let me say I have no idea what the comment is just below this post so click on it it looks dodgy to me. On Thursday we had nine teams which ended a bit of a lean period in the quiz and we had a three-way tie. VCJD, The Wedding Party and the Alliance (minus Margaret, so the lads were on there worst behaviour) all came top with 89pts each and I believe most or all of the winnings went to charity. Oh and i'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Quizards of Odds for the lovely gift of a beer mat and empty crisp packet that they left for me in their folder. (tossers).The Book Ends also turned up but didn't have my email address and couldn't let me know in advance so the Books and Authors guest round will have to be but on ice until they come again. Anyone wishing to contact me can do at quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk I've got absolutely bugger all done for this week's quiz so I'll have to have a good crack at it later today when I get back from doing the crossword with my friends (well my mate Steve and a obnoxious little troll called Jeff.) at Bonds. Okay, I need your help. At the beginning of next month Quizard will be 10 years old. 10 years since I did my very first quiz at the now defunct Dunky's in Bolebridge Street, Tamworth. So I would like some inexpensive ideas on how to celebrate this historic landmark.

Questions and Answers

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Bart Simpson 2. Ab Fab's Joanna Lumley 3. David Beckham 4. Mary Jo Kopechne (Teddy Kennedy's driving buddy) 5. US chat show host Jay Leno 6. Jessica Rabbit who was voiced by Kathleen Turner who was 53 year's old on Thursday. 7. Ilie Nastase The Clown Prince of Tennis 8. Lizzy Borden who didn't give her mother 40 whacks (she was acquitted of the murder of the murders of her father and stepmother) 9. Nicole Kidman from the movie The Hours 10. Bride of Frankenstein actress Elsa Lanchester.

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

In science, an ERG is a unit of Work or Energy.

Virgil wrote the epic The Aeneid.

The M56, the M63, the M66, the M67 and theM602 all serve Manchester.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. In the Bible, Uriah the Hittite was her first husband, King David her second. Who was she?

2. Which of the Seven Wonders of the World was built at Ephesus in 356BC?

3. Who would live in a residence called a 'manse'?

Joke of the Day

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.

The farmer said, "That's once."

A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.

His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."

The farmer said, "That's once."