quiz393

Quiz 393

Sorry, but there is only one post this week. What with blood tests and being called away I've been very busy this weekend. Anyway, casting my mind back to last Thursday: The Alliance were our winners with 91pts on a night when only four teams showed up. CJD were second with 88pts and Last again weren't as they came third with 79pts. I have actually managed somehow to get the majority of this week's quiz done. Later on this afternoon I will carry on with the picture round that I started last night and see if I can get the guest round completed. It's TV theme tunes which is sometimes a chore but a lot of teams enjoy it so it's well worth the effort. After that I only need eight general knowledge questions to finish it off, minus of course the obligatory last minute tweaking.

Questions and Answers

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Matt Damon 2. Mother Theresa 3. Miss Marple actress Joan Hickson 4. Donkey from the Shrek movies 5. George Best 6. TV chef Phil Vickery 7. Robbie Coltrane 8. Pink 9. Harry Potter star Emma Watson 10. Serbian tennis player Jelena Jankovic

Three for Fun (Last Monday's answers)

Life is Sweet, Naked and Secrets and Lies are films made in the 1990s by award-winning director Mike Leigh.

The two-word French term, meaning coercion or irresistible compulsion, that is used in commercial contracts to describe events that are outside the control of the parties involved is Force Majeure.

Robert Catesby and Guy Fawkes intended to kill James I by placing barrels of gunpowder below the Houses of Parliament?

Today's questions (answers on Friday... hopefully)

1. In science, an ERG is a unit of what?

2. Classic literature: Who wrote the epic The Aeneid?

3. The M56, the M63, the M66, the M67 and theM602 all serve which northern city?

Joke of the Day

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.

One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four."

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.

Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my manhood touch the floor!"

Again, there's a bright flash and both his legs fall off.

Well I have managed to get all my databases fully up to date. Unfortunately, this week's quiz is a little behind schedule as I have still 59 questions to find. I shall have a good stab at it tonight while I'm laid up, (I've got a touch of gout on my big toe, it's blown up like a balloon). Nevermind I'll get that sorted when I go to the stop smoking clinic on Thursday.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

The courage of a faithful wife saves her husband from execution at the hands of a Spanish oppressor: this is Fidelio, Beethoven's only opera?

Victorian soap-maker, William Hesketh Lever, founded his factory and garden village beside it to house the workers in Port Sunlight.

The name of the series of defensive fortifications built between 1929 and 1932 along France's eastern border with Germany was known as The Maginot Line.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Life is Sweet, Naked and Secrets and Lies are films made in the 1990s by which award-winning British director?

2. Which two-word French term, meaning coercion or irresistible compulsion, is used in commercial contracts to describe events that are outside the control of the parties involved?

3. Which king did Robert Catesby and Guy Fawkes intend to kill by placing barrels of gunpowder below the Houses of Parliament?

Joke of the Day

George and Harriet decide to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Lets go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come up to 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened the door and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Bambi laughed derisively. "You really must be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."

After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!"

George said "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

Quiz 392

I was extremely busy yesterday for reasons too long-winded to go into so that is why the blog is a day late. Firstly, thanks Viv for the email. Penblwydd Hapus i Chi! Sorry you won't be here next Thursday but enjoy your break. Anyone wishing to contact me can do so can post a comment on this site or email me at quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk Thursday's quiz was a quiet affair and the first one to fall after the recent smoking ban became law. (Didn't affect me as I quit exactly 3 weeks tomorrow... ah smug mode.) Our winners were The Magic Numbers with 94pts, VCJD were second on 92pts and The Alliance minus Bob the gob (hehehehe) made up the top 3 with 85pts. Oh sorry I was just watching a bit of Wimbledon, Maggie Thatcher has just sat down and Roger Federer has just ballooned a ball into the crowd, the old witch is still hexing people even now. Anyway, this weekend I want to get every single database bang up to date and I'm going to start as soon as I publish this post.

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Antonio Banderas 2. New Deputy Prime Minister Harriet Harman 3. Bruce Willis 4. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 5. Tellytubby Tinky Winky 6. TV presenter Tess Daly 7. Roger Federer 8. Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross 9. Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar 10. Brigit Bardot

Three for fun (answers on Monday)

1. The courage of a faithful wife saves her husband from execution at the hands of a Spanish oppressor: this is the theme of whose only opera?

2. Where in the Wirral did the Victorian soap-maker, William Hesketh Lever, found his factory in 1888, building a garden village beside it to house the workers?

3. What is the name of the series of defensive fortifications built between 1929 and 1932 along France's eastern border with Germany?

Joke of the Day Kiss the Cabbie...

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the taxi driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure there is nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you have to be Catholic!"

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"Okay" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley, maybe we can see what we can do."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a prostitute blush. But when they get back on the road, the taxi driver starts to sob.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you sobbing?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Anglican."

The nun says' "That's Okay, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party."

Sorry today's update is late but I've been a wee bit busy. I'm suppossed to fill in these stupid forms from the council regarding the discount I get from Council Tax because I live alone (Wankers. I'll set Bill on them) and I am currently cooking a lovely omelette for supper the ingredients of which are: 3 Fresh Duck eggs, 3 rashers of back bacon, some sliced up mushrooms and some cheese to put on top for grilling later. Yummy. Thursday's quiz is about half done. I have started updated the various databases, so that has taken a while. I have, however, got this week's guest round completed, which is a Celebrity matchword. I'm hungry now so I'll see you on Thursday.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

Somerset Maugham qualified in Medicine the same year in which his first novel, Liza of Lambeth, was published.

The three-volume work by Karl Marx which appeals for a classless society where rewards are shared equally was entitled Das Kapital.

The act of parliament of 1707 in which England and Scotland were united under the name Great Britain was The Act of Union.

More questions on Friday.

quiz391

Quiz 391

Last night's quiz was hard work. You get a bit of pussy in the room and some blokes just turn into complete eejits. Anyway, let's see, who won? The Magic Numbers (Happy birthday Andy) with 97pts. The Alliance were second on 94 pts and VCJD or new variant CJD made up the top 3 with 91 pts. Now my PC is almost back to normal I am going to bring all my files up to date over the weekend before I even consider next week's quiz. Contact me as usual by posting a comment on this blog or email me at: quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk Now I'm going to BonDs to drink copious amounts of fermented vegetable products.

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. Gordon Brown PM 2. Steve Martin 3. Graham Norton 4. Tommy Lee Jones 5. Ron Atkinson 6. Shilpa Shetty 7. Twighliht Zone creator Rod Serling 8. Gwen Stefani 9. Maria Sharapova 10.Salma Hayek

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

Only two leaders of the Conservative in the twentieth century were not also Prime Minister. William Hague and Austin Chamberlain.

Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover were all US Presidents during the 1920s.

'The stately homes of England/How beautiful they stand/To prove the upper classes/Have still the upper hand.' words written by Noel Coward.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. In which profession did Somerset Maugham qualify, in the same year in which his first novel, Liza of Lambeth, was published?

2. What is the title of the three-volume work by Karl Marx which appeals for a classless society where rewards are shared equally?

3. Under which act of parliament of 1707 were England and Scotland united under the name Great Britain?

Joke of the Day

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposesthey settle the matter "country style."

"What's country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two blokes have a dispute, one bloke kicks the other one in the bollocks as hard as he can. Then that bloke, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute.

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and spluttering. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "Alright, n-now it's m-my turn."

The farmer grins. "Oh, hell, you win. Keep the duck."

Grrrrr, I hate computers. This week's quiz is around halfway complete but what I really need is the back up memory stick that my brother has with all my templates on as wghen I took my computer back to Wishbone during that deluge on Friday I found out that the slave drive with all my quiz stuff on it - previous quizzes, templates, databases etc - was dead and all those years of work were gone. Luckily, a couple of month's ago I put the whole quizard file on a memory stick but... it's at my brothers and he went away for the weekend and I can't get to it. Nevermind, one way or another I will get it sorted by Thursday including a guest round which this week is due to be Dingbats.

Three for Fun (answers from whenever the f**k it was)

The name given to the conspiracy of 1683 by English whig extremists intent on murdering Charles II and his brother, the future James II was The Rye House Plot.

In Parliament The Speaker's principal adviser in all matters of procedure, who sits at the Table of the House during sittings is The Clerk of the House.

In the Bible to someone who prepared perfumes and spices was called an Apothecary.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Only two leaders of the Conservative in the twentieth century were not also Prime Minister. William Hague and who in the early 1920s?

2. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover were all US Presidents during which decade?

3. 'The stately homes of England/How beautiful they stand/To prove the upper classes/Have still the upper hand.' Who wrote these words.

Joke of the Day: How Paris Hilton prepared for Jail.

1. Asking Martha Stewart for "shower fight" tips.

2. Meeting with Revlon to market signature delousing spray.

3. Seeking permission to videotape her conjugals.

4. Seeing what Prada had in orange jumpsuits.

5. Trying to figure out how she's going to avoid Brenda, the weightlifter.

6. Attending Birmingham City games to get used to solitary.

7. Giving guards a list of how she likes to be searched.

8. Telling herself, "Heck, 45 days? That's not even a month".

quiz390

Quiz 390

Hooray! I'm back. Okay, this is going to be a very brief post as I have to take my computer back down to those good people at Wishbone in the Bolebridge Mews to have a slave drive reconnected as all my quiz stuff is on it. Last night's joint winners were The Alliance and The Magic Numbers with 93pts and joint third with 86 pts were VCJD and Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead. (bloody stupid name). Hopefully, things will be back to normal by the time I have to post Monday's blog. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk as always is my Email if you wish to contact me. Enjoy the weekend and you think its really inclement for the time of year, spare a thought for those poor eejits in a field in Glastonbury.