quiz449

Quiz 449

You know that feeling you get when you know you have something important to do but just can't think what it is. Well I've got it right now and it's driving me crazy. I just hope I can remember before the end of the afternoon. Anyway I'd better get on as my PC has just frozen and had to reboot and I don't want to type all this out again. Last night at The Albert we had seven teams which is good for the time of year and the torrential downpour we had in the early evening which i feared may have had an effect on the turnout. The winners last night were CJD with 90pts, The Alliance were second on 86pts and The Flying Otters were pipped into third place in the final round one point back on 85pts. In fact, it was a close affair with only nine points seperating first and last places which is how I like it.

Leprechaun's Pot 'O' Gold

A new month, a new pot. It's always a little strange starting a pot from scratch. We did, however, manage to get £26 collected. Last night's question was a little quirky by my standards but I made the decision to go with it. It was, what comes next in this sequence of perfect numbers? 6, 28, 496. The answer is: 8128. The closest guess of 8263 and recipient of £13 was Barb T of Drunks Aloud.

Questions and Answers

Last night's faces were: 1. Former England cricket captain Michael Vaughn 2. Gillian Anderson 3. David Duchovny 4. TV chef Anthony Worrall Thompson 5. Morgan Freeman 6. Popeye 7. James Doohan Scotty from Star Trek 8. Former Corrie actress Nikki Sanderson 9. Paul Merton 10. Charles Bronson 11. Lester Piggott 12. Goldie Hawn 13. Alexander Solzhenitsyn 14. Martina Navratilova 15. Keith Richards 16. F1 driver Heikki Kovalainen 17. Duffy 18. Senator John McCain 19. Charlize Theron 20. Scarlett Johansson

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The name given to a piece of music that suggests the romantic beauty is Nocturne.

The castle that is the home of the Dukes of Norfolk is Arundel.

Samuel Johnson's biographer was James Boswell.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Who first appears in the Bible in Genesis as the son of Lamech and ninth in descent from Adam?

2. Verdi's opera Nabucco tells the story of which biblical king?

3. On British Ordnance Survey maps the two grid references are known as northings and what else?

Joke of the Day: Doctor's Office (Thanks Mr Green)

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there,
and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is
embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell
her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of
us have experienced this, and I love the way
this old guy handled it:

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk....
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor
for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that.'

'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' the old man said.
The Receptionist replied: 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this
room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the
Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of
strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.'

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

quiz448/update

I hope you've all had an enjoyable weekend. I myself have been quite busy working on Thursday's quiz. I just need seven questions, the Faces round of which I have eight of the twenty I need. My big headache I have this week is the guest round, Connections. I certainly haven't had an epiphany like I did when we last had Connections as the guest round when "Sherlock Holmes" popped into my head. I do have an idea for the theme it's just finding questions to fit. I'll either struggle through with the idea I have or decide on something totally different, that decision will have to be made by the end of this afternoon. I have no news as of yet on a new website, if anyone has any ideas please email me at the usual address. Basically, what I want is a site where people can leave comments without having to join themselves. Any suggestions are appreciated. I have quite a few emails to answer right now so I'll see you all on Thursday at The Albert.

Three for Fun (Friday's answers)

The Octateuch is the first eight books of the Old Testament.


Norman Manley International airport serves Kingston, the capital of Jamaica.


The verse from the Gershwin song continues: 'No, no! They can't take that away from me.'

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. What name is given to a musical cmposition, most usually a slow piano piece, that suggests the romantic beauty of the night?


2. Which castle in West Sussex is the home of the Dukes of Norfolk?


3. What is the name of Samuel Johnson's eighteenth-century biographer?

Joke of the Day (Thanks Dr Bebop)

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her butt in it."

quiz448

Quiz 448

A very pleasant evening at The Albert last night, okay, another couple of teams would have been better but seven teams is quite good for this time of year. Our winners last night were The Alliance minus Pete (get well soon mate) with 93pts This puts them second on the all-time wins table with 122 quiz victories just behind The Shrimps who have won one of my quizzes 123 times. Chairman of the Board were second with 90pts and CJD made up the top three with 88pts. They are joint third on the all-time list along with Hold the Back Page with 57 wins. Another blank templateawaits me now, all I know for sure is that the guest round is Connections, nine questions with a theme. What that theme will be I have no idea at the moment but I will have by Monday's update. Don't forget to check out the Joke of the Day at the end of this post, it's a real hoot.

Leprechaun's Pot 'O' Gold

End of the month which means just one thing. Some lucky bugger walks away with the whole pot. It has been a slow month luckily though, it was a five-week month. By the time it came to ask the question the pot held £77.50. Last night's question was: "In H.G. Wells' The Time Machine, in which year in the future does the central character become temporarily stranded?" (Well, you don't expect me to just give that sort of money away do you?) The correect answer is 802,701 and with a guess of 880,496 Helen and Jan of the 7Ts were closest and took the cash (thanks again for the pint). Next week we start all over again from scratch.

Questions and Answers

Last night's Faces were: 1. Tommy Cooper 2. David Beckham 3. Victoria Beckham 4. Carol Vorderman 5. David Coulthard 6. Sylvester Stallone 7. Marilyn Monroe 8. David Cassidy 9. Kyle Minogue 10. Gordon Banks

11. Yul Brynner 12. Myleene Klass 13. Billie Jean King 14. Renee Zellweger 15. Joe DiMaggio 16. Hugh Jackman 17. Denzel Washington 18. J.K. Rowling 19. Brian Turner 20. Patricia Arquette

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The husband of Mary I of England was Philip II of Spain.

The cathedral city and former capital of Wessex that lies on the River Itchen in Hampshire is Winchester.

The group of islands in the North Atlantic, part of the kingdom of Shetland that lie north-west of the Shetlands and south-east of Iceland are The Faroe Islands.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. What is the Octateuch?

2. Norman Manley International airport serves the capital city of which Caribbean Commonwealth country?

3. Complete this verse from the Ira Gershwin song: The way you wear your hat/The way you sip your tea/The mem'ry of all that/No, no!...'

Joke of the Day: Double-Entendres (Thanks Dr Bebop)

Subject: 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '


10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'