quiz414

Quiz 414

After last week's heady heights of 11 teams it was back to reality with a bang yesterday. Only 4 teams took part and I have to say I really believe that the smoking ban is to a greater or lesser degree responsible. We have just three more quizzes this year so I hope in the New Year things will improve. Anyway forgive the late post as this is the first time I've had chance to sit at my computer today. Been a very strange day. Last night's joint winners were The Alliance and VCJD both on a very impressive 94 pts each and third place went to Pete's missing with 80 pts. I shall try and get as much of next week's quiz done over the next two days, well that's the plan anyway but when does anything ever go to plan? Just looking over to the quiz plan on the far wall I can see that next week's Guest Round is due to be a Pyramid. I've got no ideas for it just yet but I believe sometime over the next 3 or 4 days I'll have an epiphany. Okay, enjoy the weekend, I'll update again on Monday. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk if you wish to contact me. (hanks Viv, sorry to hear the water rates have gone up). I'll leave you with the Questions and answers and a good joke to get you in the mood for the weekend. Oh yes! I must remember to put those past quizzes I've been saving for Gareth since October in my file for next week.

Questions and Answers

Last night's Celebrity Matchword answers were: Indian Summer House, Joss Stick Insect, Power Point Blank, Special Branch Line, Blue Chip Shop, Easy Street Corner, Baking Soda Syphon, Unleaded Petrol Pump, Daisy Chain Gang, Scarlet Fever Pitch, Yellow River Bank, Free Spirit Level. he celebrity was Minnie Driver.

Yesterday's COLOUR pictures were: 1. New King of the Jungle Christopher Biggins 2. X-Factor Judge Dannii Minogue 3. The Duchess of Cornwall 4. Blackburn Rover's David Bentley 5. British-born Iranian comedian Omid Djalili 6. Alicia Silverstone 7. Montgomery Clift 8. Minnie Driver 9. Singer Joan Baez 10. Russian Pole vaulter and world record holder Yelena Isinbayeva.

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

In English Law, the Hilary sittings begin in January.

The sculptures Reclining Figure and Madonna and Child, and the Shelter Sketchbooks, drawn during the Blitz while he was an official war artist, are well known works by the twentieth-century English sculptor Henry Moore.

The Yorkshire town famous for its choral society, founded in 1836 is Huddersfield.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. London: Old Kent Road and Edgware Road both follow part of the path of which ancient Roman road?

2. Which painter, best known for his portraits, was the first President of the Royal Academy?

3.Danforth, CQR and Stockless are three common forms of which piece of maritime equipment?

Joke of the Day

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have thechild.If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how hewould know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would thenarrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. "SEND EXTRA SAUCE".

Thanks for all the emails, I always enjoy receiving them. This week's quiz is progressing swimmingly, the music was completed yesterday with an absolute classic to finish off (no clues). I thought of a good Tempus Fugit question and got all but one of the pictures ready which WILL this week be in colour. I have to go out shortly so I'll leave you with the Three for Fun and the Joke of the Day and hope that there are as many of you at The Albert as there were last week. quizard_97@yahoo.uk is my email if you wish to contact me in the meantime.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

The hereditary disease thought to have caused the mental disturbance suffered by George III for long periods of his life is Porphyria.

According to legend Alexander the Great cut the Gordian knot with his sword, thus laying claim to becoming ruler of Asia

In legal matters the act of parliament abbreviated as PACE is the Police and Criminal evidence act.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. In English Law, in which month do the Hilary sittings begin?

2. The sculptures Reclining Figure and Madonna and Child, and the Shelter Sketchbooks, drawn during the Blitz while he was an official war artist, are well known works by which twentieth-century English sculptor?

3. Which Yorkshire town is famous for its choral society, founded in 1836?

Joke of the Day: Pearls of wisdom

Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem? - Jay Leno

When the sun comes up, I have morals again. - Elayne Boosler

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfeld

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job.But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams

Quiz 413

Right, I'm back. Thank you all for being patient. I'm just got reconnected about an hour ago (I can't believe I've got all my TV channels back and there is shag all worth watching!) and I am just catching up on the six weeks I've been away. There have been a lot of people I've needed to email to let them know. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk if you want to get in touch with me for any reason. And... Just a quick note... Congratulations to Margaret and Gareth of The Alliance who celebrated their wedding anniversary yesterday, hope you both had a great day.

I was a little anxious about Thursday's quiz as it was a charity event organised by Dawn from the Tweedale and I really didn't know what to expect. I needn't have worried, it was a great night, eleven teams competed and we managed to raise 0ver £160 for MacMillan Cancer Research so give yourselves a well earned round of applause. Our winners on the night were The Yak Slayers (Where do they get these names from?) with 93 pts and both The Alliance and VCJD were joint second with 91 pts each. I'll leave you with the Questions and Answers and the Joke of the Day and update again on Monday.

Questions and Answers

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Dennis Bergkamp 2. Omar Sharif 3. Davina MCall 4. Lee Harvey Oswald 5. Michael Howard 6. Paula Radcliffe 7. Marge Simpson 8. Benny Hill 9. Morgan Spurlock 10. Catherine Deneuve

Three for Fun (answers on Monday)

1. What is the name of the hereditary disease thought to have caused the mental disturbance suffered by George III for long periods of his life?

2. According to legend, who cut the Gordian knot with his sword, thus laying claim to becoming ruler of Asia?

3. In legal matters, which act of parliament is abbreviated as PACE?

Joke of the Day:

Stupid people awards

It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).The 1997 nominees are:

NOMINEE No.1: [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No.2 [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, of Alamo,Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what. police described as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Bums hung underneath so that he could asthe source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft.

" NOMINEE No.3 [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson. 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

NOMINEE No.4 [UIPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto Skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

NOMINEE No.5 [Bloomburg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage(and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut, up in his, near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No..6 [The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO.7 ["The. Indianapolis Star"] A cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion - Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No.8 lAP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store; paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.

NOMINEE No.9 [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

NOMINEE No.10 [Associated Press, Kincaid] Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tougue state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'II show you how to set it off."

quiz406

Quiz 406

Okay so we had five teams last night which I admit is an improvement on the last couple of months but I'm not ready to dance a fandango just yet. It was nice however, tho see The Bookends and welcome back to The Dimwits. Last nights winners were VCJD with 81 points, The Alliance were second on 78 and The aforementioned Bookends made up our top three with 73 points. Okay I'm going to be brief.I've just had a phone call from my brother to tell me my mother was rushed into hospital last night. So very quickly here are the questions and answers and a joke which just need cutting and pasting in.

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. Michael Parkinson 2. Nicole Kidman 3. Corrie actor Jack P Shepherd who plays little git David Platt 4. Bolton Wanderer's Finnish goalkeeper Jussi Jääskeläinen 5. Hercule Poirot actor David Suchet 6. Former Prime Minister Sir Alec Douglas Home 7. Robbie the Robot from the classic sci-fi movie Forbidden Planet 8. Underfire jockey Kieren Fallon 9. Model Nell McAndrew 10. Actress Jennifer Garner

Three for Fun (Monday's answers)

The US state known as "the Bluegrass state" is Kentucky.

Music for the song Moonlight Serenade was written by Glenn Miller.

The word 'volar' relates to the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Astronomy: The term 'aphelion' in relation to the Earth or any planet in the universe describes what?

2. Which de Havilland aircraft in 1949 was the world's first commercial jet airliner?

3. The Prince of the Pagodas is the only original ballet score by whom?

Joke Of The Day:Old Innocent Lady...

A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:
"I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son."
"Oh, that's ok," he said.
"I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy."
The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.
Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his groceries.
"That'll be 105 dollars 35," said the clerk.
"How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!"
"Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her..."

As I'm typing I am also compiling Thursday's music tape and I also have two crusts under the grill toasting. Lovely. When the tape is finished the quiz will be two-thirds complete, nice to be ahead of schedule for once. One idea I'm throwing around at the moment, (excuse me, toast and marmalade) is the teams that turn up on a quiz night decide the format for the following week. We'll have have to discuss it more on Thursday night. Any thoughts in the meantime quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk please.

Three for fun (Friday's answers)

Juan Carlos II became the king of Spain in November 1975

The Storting is the name of the parliament of Norway

Writing devoted to recording and glorifying the lives of saints and martyrs is known as Hagiography (hagiology)

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Which US state is known as "the Bluegrass state"?

2. Music for the song Moonlight Serenade was written by which famous bandleader?

3. The word 'volar' relates to whch parts of the body?

Joke Of The Day:This is the road to enlightenment, revised...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can' t be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

quiz405

Quiz 405

I don't know where I am at the moment. Somewhere between trying my damnedest to save the quiz and almost at the point where I just don't care anymore. I remember feeling like this almost 5 years ago when a similar thing happened to the quiz I used to do at Bond's. It was only 4 to 6 weeks after that, that I decided to quit that one as the enjoyment I was getting wasn't enough for the effort going in. Of the 4 teams we had last night, VCJD came out on top with 81 points, Wanderers were second with 76 points and The Alliance were third with 73.

Questions and Answers

Last night's pictures were: 1. John Travolta 2. Newsreader and new Crimewatch presenter Kirsty Young 3. Susan Surandon who was 61 years old yesterday 4. Aston Villa's Gareth Barry 5. Lois Maxwell who was Miss Moneypenny in the James Bond films 6. Jodie Foster 7. Weather girl and Rear of the Year Sian Lloyd 8. US long distance runner Kara Goucher 9. Natasha Beddingfield 10. Film director David Lean

Three for Fun (Tuesday's answers)

The first name of the businessman and pioneer of frozen food Mr Birdseye was Clarence.

Fingal's Cave is located on the Scottish island of Staffa.

The cotton gin was invented by Eli Whitney.

Today's questions (answers on Monday)

1. Who became the king of Spain in November 1975?

2. The Storting is the name of the parliament of which country?

3. Writing devoted to recording and glorifying the lives of saints and martyrs is known as what?

Joke Of The Day: Fly Swatting...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh!, Killed any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".

Apologies for the post being a day late, but yesterday was rather hectic, I just hope that it wasn't a sign of what to expect for the rest of the month. Fortunately though I have made a good start on Thursday's quiz, I'm hoping to get the Music tape and TV themes tape done today, I just hope there are a lot more people at The Albert than have been in recent weeks. quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk If you wish to contact me before Thursday.

Three for Fun (Friday's answers)

'I sing of arms and the man' is a translation of the opening words of The Aeneid.

The name given to the sheet of microfilm on which printed text is photographically reduced for filing is microfiche.

In relation to vision, the term 'accommodation' means the action of focusing the eye.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. What was the first name of the businessman and pioneer of frozen food Mr Birdseye?

2. Fingal's Cave is located on which Scottish island?

3. Who invented the cotton gin?

Joke Of The Day:Sister Logical...

Two nuns went out of their convent to sell cookies. One is known as Sister Mathematical and the other as Sister Logical. It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

Logical: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
Sister Mathematical: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

Sister Logical: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

Sister Mathematical: It's not working.

Sister Logical: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

Sister Mathematical: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

Sister Logical: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go the this way. He cannot follows us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then, Sister Logical arrives.

Sister Mathematical: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!

Tell me what happened!

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

Sister Mathematical: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

Sister Mathematical: And?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, dear! What did you do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! What happened then?

Sister Logical: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.