When I got up on Saturday morning I found a slug trail in my kitchen either that or a woman with no legs had been slithering around the kitchen overnight. My first thought was "how the bloody hell did it get in the flat?" Anyway, I used the old slug pub trick and placed some beer out overnight and it worked. All I need to know now is; does anyone know how to break up a fight between 5 drunken slugs?


I am suffering with a stinking head cold at the moment, so progress on Thursday's quiz is slow. I need 3 songs to complete the music tape, another 4 pictures before I can set up the picture round around 10 questions on various subjects and I am halfway through the guest round which this week is Initial Success; ten questions with the initial letters of the answer given as a clue. On Friday I forgot to give the picture answers fom last week's quiz, so I'll do that next. I hope your all enjoying the soggy bank holiday and I'll see you all on Thursday.

Thursday's pictures were: 1. Manchester United's Ole Gunnar Solskjaer 2. Spiderman 3 star Tobey Macguire 3. The late great Eric Morecombe 4. Dame Helen Mirren 5. The villanous Feathers McGraw from the Wallace and Gromit adventure The Wrong Trousers 6. James Doohan who played Scotty in the original Star Trek series 7. Mary Astor who played the female lead in the 1941 classic The Maltese Falcon 8. Former racing driver Nelson Piquet 9. Actress Heather Graham 10. German composer Engelbert Humperdinck.

Three for Fun (Friday's answers)

According to the apocryphal story, the long nose and inquisitive nature of sixteenth-century Archbishop of Canterbury Matthew Parker gave rise to the expression 'nosey Parker'.

In relation to aeroplanes, the abbreviation C-of-A stands for Certificate of Airworthiness

The Dutch artist of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries who painted The Merry Toper, The Merry Company and, most famously, The Laughing Cavalier (or Portrait of a Man to give it its correct title) was Frans Hals.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Food and drink: Orange Pekoe is a variety of what?

2. The Forint, comprising 100 fillur, is the main unit of currency of which EU country?

3. Junkie (1953), Nova Express (1964) and Cities of the Red Night (1981) are by which innovative American author?

Joke Of The Day:Ladies Room...

A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washroom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.

"Sir," she said, "the ladies room is unoccupied. You may use it only if you promise not to touch the buttons on the wall."

He was about to explode, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified with the letters: WW, WA and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR.

Who would really know if he touched them? He could not just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the WW button. Warm Water was sprayed gently on his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him, the men's washroom didn't have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button.

Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant smell of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did he pressed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!

He knew he was in the hospital room as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"

"You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.