I hope you're all enjoying the inclement Bank Holiday. The weather should improve through June until Wimbledon starts and Cliff Richard is on stand by. I've got a lot done this weekend, in fact, if I can get the pictures done tonight I will only need another 12 questions to finish off this weeks quiz. (am bored shitless actually.) On the plus front I have the chance of a new job, if my current employers are reading this its a lie and I won't be phoning a company in Atherstone on my break, and won't be arranging an interview for Wednesday because I really do have an appointment at the tropical diseases centre that will take up all of my working day. I've got a cactus, not that interesting I grant you. However I rescued it from the shared house I was living in 15 years ago, just as an afterthought on my way to a new address. Now for only the second time in those 15 years it is flowering. It has the most beautiful pale orange flowers on it. I just hope it doesn't decide to eat me in the middle of the night. (note to self: stop reading John Wyndham novels). I was also given a sprig of shamrock by a friend for Paddy Day on March 17. I kept the root, gave it to my mum, she potted it for me and last week it developed several small yellow flowers. Sorry I got off the subject but I'm quite proud that I never killed them both.


I would like suggestions please, to distinguish Picture clues from the final Picture Round as it can be confusing to new teams. Also, How do we make the Scattergories round more challenging and In a couple of months I will be celebrating Quizard's tenth anniversary and plan to put a FAQ section in the profile on this site. Any questions you have about Quizard's last ten years or just anything you would like to know let me know. Thanks in advance. I hope to see you all on Thursday and if anyone wishes to contact me at anytime for anything, my email address is: quizard_97@yahoo.co.uk And don't forget to check out the joke of the day, it's a genuine letter of resignation.

Three for Fun (Saturday's answers)

The Hague conventions, signed between 1899 and 1907, concerns the conduct of the law under War.

'God's in his heaven/All's right with the world'. words by Robert Browning. (I still prefer the works of his wife).

The violin concertos nicknamed 'Il Sospetto', the Storm at Sea' and 'Il Favorito' are the work of Antonio Vivaldi.

Today's questions answers on Friday (if I'm not still pissed)

1. What name was given to conspiracy of 1683 by English whig extremists intent on murdering Charles II and his brother, the future James II?

2. Parliament: The holder of which office is the Speaker's principal adviser in all matters of procedure, and sits at the Table of the House during sittings?

3. What name is given in the Bible to someone who prepared perfumes and spices?

Joke Of The Day:

Best ever resignation letter (An actual letter sent by a fed up U.S IS employee)

Mr Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts. 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own. 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration. 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.Sincerely,

T. Brewer