Grrrrr, I hate computers. This week's quiz is around halfway complete but what I really need is the back up memory stick that my brother has with all my templates on as wghen I took my computer back to Wishbone during that deluge on Friday I found out that the slave drive with all my quiz stuff on it - previous quizzes, templates, databases etc - was dead and all those years of work were gone. Luckily, a couple of month's ago I put the whole quizard file on a memory stick but... it's at my brothers and he went away for the weekend and I can't get to it. Nevermind, one way or another I will get it sorted by Thursday including a guest round which this week is due to be Dingbats.

Three for Fun (answers from whenever the f**k it was)

The name given to the conspiracy of 1683 by English whig extremists intent on murdering Charles II and his brother, the future James II was The Rye House Plot.

In Parliament The Speaker's principal adviser in all matters of procedure, who sits at the Table of the House during sittings is The Clerk of the House.

In the Bible to someone who prepared perfumes and spices was called an Apothecary.

Today's questions (answers on Friday)

1. Only two leaders of the Conservative in the twentieth century were not also Prime Minister. William Hague and who in the early 1920s?

2. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover were all US Presidents during which decade?

3. 'The stately homes of England/How beautiful they stand/To prove the upper classes/Have still the upper hand.' Who wrote these words.

Joke of the Day: How Paris Hilton prepared for Jail.

1. Asking Martha Stewart for "shower fight" tips.

2. Meeting with Revlon to market signature delousing spray.

3. Seeking permission to videotape her conjugals.

4. Seeing what Prada had in orange jumpsuits.

5. Trying to figure out how she's going to avoid Brenda, the weightlifter.

6. Attending Birmingham City games to get used to solitary.

7. Giving guards a list of how she likes to be searched.

8. Telling herself, "Heck, 45 days? That's not even a month".